string(7) "m-66998" Burnt Hickory Baptist Church

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Aug 25, 2024

Marriage Focus Sunday

Marriage Focus Sunday

Speaker: Matt Petty

Series: Marriage Sunday

Category: Sunday Sermons

Keywords: marriage advice, couples counseling, relationship tips, burnt hickory baptist church, burnt hickory worship, marriage focus, burnt hickory livestream, marriage focus sunday, shaunti and jeff feldhahn, social researchers, best-selling authors, for men only book, for women only book, marriage support, decoding relationships, marriage speakers, strengthening marriage, relationship experts, sunday service guest speakers

At Burnt Hickory, we care deeply about your marriage and are thrilled to welcome Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn as our guest speakers this Sunday, our marriage focus Sunday. They are internationally renowned social researchers and authors of best-selling books "For Men Only" and "For Women Only". With graduate degrees from Harvard, the Feldhahns have been using their analytical backgrounds to help couples decode each other for over 20 years.

Matt:

Well, good morning church. Today, we're pausing in our James series. We're looking at marriage today. No matter where you are in life, marriage is one of those subjects that either directly affects you now, has affected you at some point, or will affect you one day. And between this morning and tonight, at our date night revolving around marriage, we're going to do a pretty deep dive into the sacredness, the design, the foundation, the goal, and the purpose of it. And ultimately, we’ll land on the idea that God has given us hope and joy in marriage.

Now, I know that when somebody like me gets up in a place like this and says, "Today we're looking at marriage," it's a little bit weird for a lot of you in the room. Because a lot of you may say, "Matt, I'm not married.” For some of you, no, you're not married now, but you might be one day. Some of you have been married, and now you're at a different season in your life. Some of you are living in a household where there’s tension in the marriage, or the marriage has ended.

When I say that everyone is affected by this, I mean everyone. Today, I want to show you that marriage is one of the most beautiful pictures of life and Christ's love for the church. It's important for us because we live in a culture that is constantly trying to recreate marriage, redefine marriage, and point marriage in a direction that is based on a feeling or current culture rather than what God has established. We don't have a right to change that. I’ll show you the foundation of marriage, and then we're going to have a great conversation around it.

And what better place to start about the foundation of marriage than in the Book of Genesis? In Genesis 2, God has created the heavens and the earth. He created Adam and placed him from the dust onto this world, and God said it is good. But then God looks at Adam and says in verse 18, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. Now, the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds and the sky, and he brought them to the man to see what he would name them."

"And whatever the man called each living creature, it was his name." Verse 20, "So the man gave the names to all of the livestock, the birds of the sky and the wild animals. But," here it is. You might want to underline this, "But for Adam, no suitable helper was found." Now, we teach this text from so many different angles, but this morning, I want you to see this passage through the lens of what God is seeing. He sees Adam as the magnum opus, the pinnacle of all creation. And he sees that Adam has this need for companionship.

These verses, along with so many more if you trace this thread through Scripture, shows us that God has designed us to be in relationship. He has put it into your very DNA to seek out relationship. He has not created you to be a solo being. Look at the context: Adam, living in the perfect place, at the perfect time, sin has not entered the world. There is no corruption. There is no pain. There is no death. There is no shame. None of that exists yet. But Adam still has this unmet need: he needed a companion. He needed what the Bible called "a helper suitable for him." It wasn't just about loneliness, although he probably was lonely.

It was more than loneliness. It was about Adam being unable to fulfill the purpose for which he was created. Number one, his purpose was to honor God fully with his life. Second: to live and be fulfilled in community. For those of you who tout your independence or say I don’t like people, you're missing it. God has created you to live in community and to be with a suitable helper. Marriage is his gift for us to be able to glorify him and live in the fullness of who he's made us.

Verse 21 says, "So the Lord, God calls the man to fall into a deep sleep. And he was sleeping. He took one of the man's ribs, then he closed up the place with the flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib that he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man." God's solution to Adam's solitude was not just any companion. It was a companion that was uniquely fashioned from his flesh.

When I was growing up, this was weird to me. I never understood why God did this, but it's profound when you think about it. He took a rib from his side and made this human being for Adam. She was not created from the ground like Adam was. No, she was created from Adam's side. It signified a likeness, an intimacy, a unity, a togetherness, a way for them to be the same.

God didn't take a bone out of Adam's head and make Eve into something that was above Adam. He didn't take a bone out of his foot and make something that Adam would trample over for the rest of his life. He took it from his side, close to his heart, part of his internal systems, to have life as a suitable helper. A companion that is with him, that completes him, and now is complimentary. That's where we get this idea of complimentary. We're not above or below; we're with. This phrase, a helper suitor for him, doesn't imply some inferiority. Don't let any world system out there tell you, "See, that's where it all started." No, she’s a counterpart. This is a unit coming together like God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit coming together in this moment. And together, man and woman can now reflect the full image of who God is. That's marriage.

When Adam wakes up, his response is one of joy. Look at verse 23. The man said, "This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. And she shall be called woman," He's in the naming mode, remember? "She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man." Verse 24, one of the most profound verses in all of Genesis 2, says, "This is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife and has become one flesh." Church, listen, there is no other connection that a human being has that is close to what God has established in chapter two. Verse 24 shows us these three incredibly profound purposes and aspects of marriage when it says marriage is about leaving. It's about moving from this relationship under Mama and Daddy and going into this new primary relationship with my spouse. It's about uniting.

If you're like me, you memorized it in the KJV as a kid: Leaving and cleaving. I didn't even know what cleaving meant, but I memorized it. It's about joining together. The man and the woman are in a lifelong joining at a soul level. And it’s about becoming one in flesh. That is sexual, as well as emotional, and at a soul level. That there is a deep unity in our marriage.

I hope you’re seeing marriage through a different light. It's not an institution that our government has created. It's not something that we came up with that we can readjust over time. It's not something that I'm only involved with when I feel like it. It is a gift that God has given us to see him, represent him, and give us joy. Look at verse 25. "And Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Now, that's speaking towards the fact that sin hasn't entered the world yet. But again, this reminds me of the purity and innocence of the marital relationship that was established even before sin. It’s the only institution that was created before sin. And they can walk in full transparency, vulnerability, and trust. It's a safe haven where two people in holy matrimony, holy covenant, can come together and be fully known by each other without fear of judgment or shame, all blessed by God.

Church, listen. It is not a human institution. It's a divine gift designed by God to be a sacred covenant before him. And therefore, we have no right to feel our way out of it or around it. It's established with him.

Some new friends at Burnt Hickory, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn are with us this morning, and they are incredible. Nationally recognized speakers and nationally recognized writers. They have produced books upon books. In fact, over 3 million copies sold in 25 languages. But they are incredible when it comes to discussing the heart of marriage and finding joy in marriage. God has allowed us to have them both this morning and this evening at Marriage Date Night. And I want you guys to do me a favor and welcome two new friends to Burnt Hickory, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn. Come on, guys.

I cannot wait for our conversation today. It's not every day, you get to sit down with two Harvard grads. I do have to say I'm fangirling this morning because they are most likely the smartest people in the room. No offense to the rest of you guys, but they use words that I don't even know.

Shaunti:

We somehow tricked Harvard into letting us in. We're not sure how it happened.

Matt:

I mean, that's impressive. Well, I want to jump in. And Jeff, I want to start with you before we jump into the subject matter. Just tell us a little about you as a couple and a family.

Jeff:

We are living in Atlanta, so it is fantastic to be here and not have to get on a plane to get here. And we have two kids, who both rudely moved out of the house and left us empty nesters. But we're loving life.

Matt:

So, you live in Atlanta, and the kids are gone, Harvard grads. And out of all the things you could have spent a life studying - because I mean, you started in Wall Street as an analyst - now it's all about marriage. How did that happen? And why?

Jeff:

It's because of me. The fact of the matter was Shaunti was just confused by me. So, as part of her normal, inquisitive self, she just decided to figure out if it was just me or all men.

Matt:

So, you are ground zero subject matter research.

Shaunti:

Yes, 100%.

Jeff:

So, she went on this quest to try to understand men, and her analytical brain kicked in and she wasn't going to be satisfied with talking to several other men. She had to survey thousands of them to get to the real deal.

Shaunti:

God pushes you into the deep end of the pool sometimes. And it ended up that we had this analytical background and ended up becoming social researchers. That's where all this started.

Matt:

And it took you down this rabbit hole of research into marriage. Because it's one thing for people to get up here and say, "Well, let me tell you about marriage." But it's another thing when you say, "No, I'll show you the data." And that's where you live.

Jeff:

Well, and the fact is, when she embarked on this, I knew how her brain works. And she said, we're going to get these studies done, and it will cost a lot of money to do it. And I'm like, "Really?"

Shaunti:

But it does to get really good data.

Jeff:

And that's what separates it.

Matt:

So, in eight years you endeavor on this research project called The Good News about Marriage. That produced a book focused on the idea that there's hope for marriage. And there's hope for joy in marriage. Where did that book take you and show one of the most profound things I've heard in a long time? Why did you start, and what did it show you?

Shaunti:

So basically, I was a newspaper columnist. We were doing all the research studies on men and women.

Jeff:

Do you need to explain to the folks what newspapers were?

Shaunti:

Right? We had been doing the studies on men and women and talking to all these different people. And I happened to be doing a newspaper column on divorce. And I wanted to correctly cite the divorce rate. And everybody knows it's about 50%. But maybe it's 48.7. I wanted the right number. So, I went to the Census Bureau and looked at all the numbers, and nothing I saw matched that narrative. Nothing that I saw looked anywhere close to 50%. And I went, wait a minute. If this isn't true, that half of all marriages end in divorce, this is a huge deal. One of the things that we have seen over and over, and we've seen since in all the research, is that there is only one factor underneath whether a marriage survives or fails. There are plenty of things that cause issues, but it's all about whether the couple has a sense of hope or a sense of futility.

Matt:

Now explain what that means: hope or futility.

Shaunti:

If you think you're going to make it - this is a really hard time, we’ve committed to each other, there's no eject button, and we're going to make it - you generally do. It's when you start thinking, "You know what? The ship is going to sink anyway. Why bother working so hard to bail it out?" It's that sense of futility that can kill a marriage. I realized we have this culture-wide feeling of futility about marriage today. And after I dug into it for quite a few years, it turns out it's based on this conventional wisdom that's just not true. That's why we put all that time and energy into that project.

Matt:

So, the number one factor, if we make it or not, is if we think we're going to make it.

 Shaunti:

Yeah, that’s the bottom line.

Matt:

I'll self-confess this. I have taught for years that 50% of marriages fail.

 Shaunti:

We did, too.

 Matt:

We hear that all the time. And that it's the same in the church. And so, in believing that lie, what I'm thinking if I'm getting married is, I have a one-in-two shot at getting this thing right. We would never say that out loud, but that's what we're thinking. But what your research shows is that's not true.

Shaunti:

As of a few years ago, 71% of people are still married to their first spouse. And the 29% who aren't, that includes everyone who was married for 50 years and their spouse died. That is not the divorce rate. That is death and divorce. No one knows exactly what the divorce rate is. It is incredibly complicated. Anybody out here who's sort of into demographics and statistics on sociology, you know, I am way oversimplifying something that is complex. However, we can get closer. There's no way to know exactly what it is. But we know it must be less than 29%. There's about a 14% rate of widowhood. There are some other factors you can look at. And maybe there's about a 25% divorce rate. Now, that's still way too high, but it is a universe different from 50.

Matt:

Yeah. To go from 50 to 25% takes me out of that category of, I might make it, I might not. And if I walk into marriage already thinking I'm halfway doomed, it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy in people's world. Take us a little farther than that. Why does it really matter that the divorce rate is lower?

Jeff:

Well, first off, it's not a coin toss. And second, even if you are not struggling in your marriage, but you know people who may be, you can put your arm around them and say: you know, statistically, you're in a rough patch right now. We agree on that, but you're likely going to make it. Most people do. And we're here for you, and we'll help you, and we'll walk with you. That is a world of difference between feeling isolated and shame, or it’s just this way. It's inexorable. It's moving in this direction, and we can't change it.

Shaunti:

Well, especially because I know there is that pain out there in this room. There are people whose marriages are in pain, and it's real, and it's hard. And you need to know the hope that there's not some magic vortex automatically going to suck you down. God is on your side in this. And just another little nerd statistic for you guys to be aware of: There was a great study that's still one of the best that's ever been done on this, which was about 20 years ago. It studied people over the long term. They found that the people who rated their marriage as the worst on the scale, the closest to divorce- if those people stayed married over at least five years, 80% of those people were very happy five years later.

Matt:

Wow.

Shaunti:

And it's because, it turns out, there's a lot of simple things that you can do. It's just we don't tend to know that they matter. That's why we're doing the date night tonight, to share some of those things.

Jeff:

And one of the things people will think sometimes is, okay, we'll stay married… and miserable. And that's not the only option either. The statistics are that more than 80% of marriages are happy. Like people enjoy this institution that God created.

Matt:

So, we've seen that 50% is not the rule. And the second lie I've told for a long time, thinking it was the truth, is, "Well, it's the same in the church." What did your research show? Because you guys have interviewed and surveyed almost 40,000 people at this point. What did it show happens when someone is involved with a local church?

Shaunti:

I said it's oversimplifying the divorce rate. And demographers will argue all day long about that. There is no argument about what I'm about to say. Every demographer knows – no, the divorce rate is not the same in the church. It's just that every pastor and Christian doesn't know that. The idea is based on a misunderstanding of an old George Barna study. He called people on the phone and asked, "Are you Christian, Jewish, Muslim," whatever. Those people had the same divorce rates, but he specifically excluded church attendance from the analysis. That wasn't what he was trying to study. So, I partnered with Barna, and I bought that same data set. We reran all the numbers with that factor added back in: “Was the person in church last week.”

Jeff:

Because they had collected that information.

Shaunti:

They didn't include it. And everything changes when you look at people who attend church. According to both the Barna data and literally every other study that's ever been done, if you attend church regularly, your divorce rate plummets or falls anywhere from 25 to 50%. And there was a study out of Harvard just recently that said it was 58%. I mean, that’s huge. So, if it's a roughly 25% divorce rate, you're talking maybe 15% of the church, maybe lower.

Matt:

Wow.

Shaunti:

And as a quick aside. There are other factors that change it. Anyone in this room who has been married longer than five years, your divorce rate just went way down. We have this myth, and it's killing marriages. That's why we're so passionate about this.

Matt:

So, you did this research project, and it shows that God has created this beautiful thing called marriage that can bring happiness.

Shaunti:

And we know it's not always the case. We know there's a lot of pain. Please don't hear anything that we're saying as we're minimizing that. Or there sometimes is abuse for example. And if that is the case, those people need to get to safety and need to get help. But that usually is not the issue. It's just two people who need help.

Matt:

Let's get practical because this is what everybody wants to know. How can my marriage be happy? I'm not saying mine isn't, but I'm just saying how can people's marriages be happy? In your book, on page 45, you made a claim. I'm quoting this: "The finding in this chapter might be the most important prerequisite ever to a highly happy marriage." Now, that's a bold claim, but you've got 40,000 people under your belt. I won't argue with you, but tell me what it is. What is the thing?

Shaunti:

The most important thing we found, this was a study of the happiest couples, what do they do differently from everybody else?

Jeff:

We found 12 factors or habits that they did.

Shaunti:

But this one was the one all of them did. It's honestly hard to be happy without this. You must choose to believe the best of your spouse's intentions towards you, even when you're legitimately hurt. Because everybody gets hurt. We're broken people, and we hurt each other's feelings constantly without intending to.

Jeff:

Yeah, we often say even the Godliest man or woman can be a jerk.

Matt:

Yeah. You know, I think that was me on Thursday.

Shaunti:

And so, here's what it looks like. And these things work even if only one person does them. So even if you're the only one who's really trying to make your marriage work right now, great. So, the way it works is there is a natural human tendency if your spouse hurts your feelings to go subconsciously say, "Ow. He knew how that would make me feel, and he said it anyway." And you don't realize that you're subconsciously thinking he doesn't care about me. Or maybe a guy may say, "Nothing I do is ever good enough for her." And "She doesn't appreciate me." And what the happiest couples did when they still had the same feeling, they said, "No, I know she loves me. I know she appreciates me. So, they must not have known how that would make me feel, or they wouldn't have said it." And they believe in the best of their intentions. Which statistically is the truth. Something like 99.26% of people didn't have that good intention. And that’s the case even in the marriages closest to divorce. Even when you are fighting, you've withdrawn from one another; if you don't believe the best, you can start believing the best. Now, again, this doesn't apply to cases of abuse. But everyone else: we care about one another. We must choose to believe it.

Jeff:

I’ll share a study that we came across while we were working on this part of the research, which is a great study. It was by a professor at the University of Maryland with some college students. And college students are the best. Because for 20 bucks, they'll subject themselves to almost anything. In this “almost anything” experiment, they had a subject, the student hooked up to all these different biometric measuring devices, measuring their heart rate, blood pressure, perspiration rate, and all those sorts of factors. They also hooked them up to a couple of cables that ran across the room and disappeared behind a partition. On the other side of the partition was a little device with a big red button. When the red button was pushed, it sent a shock through the cable to the person seated there, and they recorded all the impact of that shock on their body. Now, here was the cool part about the study. The person sitting in the chair was told one of three different things about whoever was behind the partition. In one instance, they were told that the person knows when they push the button, it sends a shock to them. But they've also been told that they will help you win money by doing that.

Shaunti:

So, a good intention basically.

Jeff:

The second instance, they're told that the person hit the button, but they did it on accident. They didn't mean to. And then, in a third instance, they're told that the person knows that it's sending a shock to you. And they think that's cool. So, in the case of the third instance where they thought it was really cool for no good reason, it measured a pain level like this on the person…

Shaunti:

Way up there.

Jeff:

When they thought it was done by accident, the pain level was down. And when they thought the person had good intentions, the pain level was significantly lower. It was the same shock, but it measured differently in how they felt it based on what they thought about the person’s intentions. So, in our marriages, we can take that away and say, I want to have less pain, so I’ll believe the best. And it's true in most cases.

Matt:

The issue is not whether they did it. Obviously, they did. But it was just something that happened, and they did not mean this from their heart.

Jeff:

And you can move on.

Matt:

Yeah.

Jeff:

Only when I think she knew how that would make me feel. I don't move on from that in five minutes or sometimes in five hours or sometimes a couple of days. I'm still there, working the pain through my head.

Shaunti:

And believe me, when we talk about the secrets of the happiest marriages, we've had to walk through this ourselves. Before we started the research, there were many years of pain. We see in the data that sometimes it is just the simple things.

Matt:

So don't believe the lie about 50% divorce. I'm never going to say that again. Number two, believe the best intentions in the other person. And then there was something that snuck into that book that I don't know if I agree with. But I know you'll clear it up. You said don't keep score in your marriage. But you stated happy couples do keep score.

Shaunti:

Yup.

Matt:

Talk me off the ledge. I need to know.

Jeff:

They do.

Shaunti:

Do you want me to?

Jeff:

They do it a little differently. And why don't you share how different it is?

Shaunti:

It is very different. The normal way we think of keeping score is, "Oh, well, he didn't take out the trash again."

Jeff:

Or “I did this. You should do…”

Shaunti:

I did this, and they didn't do their part - whatever. And it turns out happy couples flip that on its head. We found statistically they keep score, but they keep score of what the other person is giving. That's what they notice; that's what they track. And it's what…

Jeff:

They're doing for them.

Shaunti:

What they're doing for me, for example, let's say you've got the wife whose mind is going nuts because the kids are at home running around, and she's trying to finish a Zoom meeting. The husband takes the kids out and plays with them in the yard so she can hear herself think. And that wife goes, "That was so kind of him." She notices it. "That was so kind of him. What can I do for him? I'll make him his favorite dinner. It's more work for me, but I'll do that." He comes in with the kids, and he's thinking, "Oh my gosh, she is making me my favorite dinner. She knows how hard of a day it's been. I know this is extra work for her. What can I do for her?" And you're noticing the positive. Now, I promise in that marriage, like everything else, there's the negative, too. But they don't focus on that as much. There's a neuroscience principle that what you focus on is what you will see.

Matt:

That's right.

Shaunti:

And it's basically discovering what God said 2000 years ago in Philippians 4:8. If you want to rejoice in a difficult situation, think on whatever is lovely and excellent and worthy of praise, rather than what's worthy of driving you nuts.

Matt:

One of the things a lot of us deal with is we've always heard to focus on happiness in marriage. Don’t focus on the negative, focus on happiness. I understand that, but I don't think that's the best focus. Tell us from your research where the best focus is and what you point out in the book.

Jeff:

Happiness is great, but when it becomes the ultimate focus, we're missing something. And it's as simple as looking at Matthew 6:33, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Happiness is essentially a byproduct of jointly seeking God together as husband and wife. I love the way CS Lewis puts it. "Aim, aim for heaven and get earth thrown in, aim for earth and get neither." And so, when we make happiness the ultimate, we're missing the mark. But when we make God the ultimate, then happiness comes along.

 Shaunti:

It’s like the triangle, where you have God at the top and husband and wife at the two corners, and if you try to get closer to each other, that's not bad. But if you both try to go closer to God, well, guess what? You also get closer to each other. I love the hope that is in that because it also shows us, again, that God created this institution. He wants it for our good and his glory.

Matt:

Leave us with a quick hitter—some final words to a hurting couple here. If you had one minute, what would you say?

 Jeff:

You're smarter than me, so you do it.

 Shaunti:

Stop. One of the most important things is you're not in this alone. God is for you. He created this institution. You're not carrying it by yourself. You may be the only person who's willing to work on it and willing to believe the best of the others' intentions. But sometimes and often just the one person can make this huge difference.

 Jeff:

And if I were to add to that, I would say be in community.

 Shaunti:

Yes.

 Jeff:

There are so many times, if Shaunti and I are sideways, I'm just not looking at things right. And if I have brothers around me who I can share with, they can say, I think you're a little off here, Jeff. And you learn from one another because the stuff we're sharing with y'all today, I guarantee 90% of it will be forgotten within a week or two. But in community, you work these things out, and you get them down deeper into your hearts.

 Shaunti:

Can I give you a slightly embarrassing example?

Matt:

Sure.

 Shaunti:

So, after For Women Only came out, a few years later, we are at dinner with some friends. In community. And I was being sharp to Jeff. I don't know my tone of voice. One of my girlfriends came around the table and said, "Um, there's this book you need to read." But all of us do. I need this constantly, and I wrote the stupid book. So, community is key.

 Matt:

That's good. Would you guys do me a favor and thank these guys for being with us today? Thank you, guys, so much. I want to close this in just a few minutes of prayer this morning. So many of us are at different points on the marriage scale right now. I mean, some aren't married, some have been, some are on their way to being married, and some are right in the middle of the pain right now. I know some of you are barely holding on in a room like this. God has put you where you are, and he can deliver you and keep you living for him and living in full joy and in togetherness. Don't let Satan deflate that.

 

Here's what I want you to do. If you're a couple in the room, maybe you need to grab hands and say, Hey, we're in this together. You sing to the Lord as a couple this morning. Maybe you're in the room, and you're struggling as a couple this morning. I'm going to be over here to the side. I know this is bold. I’d love to pray with you. I've got some other incredible counselors who would love to pray over you and with you. And that's available this morning. This altar is open this morning. But I want us to be able to lift this before the King to say, "God, you've created it. You've put us in it. You want to bless it. And our job now is to point towards you." Lord, walk with us these next, just a couple of minutes, Lord Jesus.

 

 

 

 

Follow Along with the Message

Marriage Sunday 2024

 

August 25, 2024

Genesis 2:18–20
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
Genesis 2:21–22
21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
Genesis 2:23–24
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Genesis 2:25
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
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